Challenges in Relationships

 Challenges in Relationships

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Pull out VPC descriptions Challenges

Challenges come in many different forms. You can feel challenged physically, emotionally, spiritually, culturally, or by your environment. You can be on top of the world one day and then find your self-esteem, motivation, or energy whittled away without ever realizing what happened or why. 

 

Things that we recognize as challenges or that are recognized by our culture, family, and community seem to be the easiest to conquer. These are the things we can talk about, find support for, and sometimes find resources for healing. But even gut wrenching losses that lead to grief or poverty are acknowledged and then swept under the table. An occasional glimpse is acceptable, but going all the way under to feel what you feel is often frowned on.

 

Some of the things that are often less apparent are losses such as: Loss of relationships, loss of expectations, financial losses, and job losses to name a few. Health and physical loss and challenges are often recognized but not understood. Some health challenges are not recognized or discussed. What can we do about challenges?

 

§  Take time to develop meaningful relationships. In person relationships are the most healing, but phone, mail, email, and social networking with like-minded people can also be helpful.

§  Take small risks in relationships to test the waters and see if you feel safe. Share something small and see if the other person is willing to share something. Be supportive of someone else. Whether it is in person or electronically, use trusted channels to meet people.

§  Join a church, support group, community organization, or volunteer your time. Healing others is a great way to heal your self.

§  Do something creative that you can feel a sense of accomplishment. Use your hands, exercise, make something, and give to someone else.

§  Show gratitude to someone in person, writing, or email (even if you don’t give it to them.) Gratitude in itself is important for personal healing, but sharing your gratitude with someone else whenever possible is even more powerful.

 

 

 

Resilience may be one of the most important characteristics for adjusting to demands in your career and personal relationships.  Resilience comes from having skills, education and experience, but also the ability to express yourself in a positive way even under difficult circumstances. Being a positive force in your relationships and rebounding after unexpected crisis and transition is the result of learned resilience. Buoyancy, the ability to bounce back after feeling like you have been sinking or drowning because of overwork, family stress, or job loss. 

To be resilient, a person needs to know how to express their strengths and develop their weaknesses when needed. One way to value and develop your weaknesses is to imagine or experience yourself in someone else’s shoes. For instance, if you are weak in compassion but strong in critical analysis, you might assist in a soup kitchen or help someone coming out of prison learn computer skills. By mentoring or assisting someone else, you often increase your compassion by hearing their story and seeing what it is like to walk in their shoes. 

 

The ability to understand our selves, to have a healthy lifestyle, and to understand what it is like to walk in someone else’s shoes is the essence of emotional intelligence. (what else for EQ?) Developing a strong emotional intelligence will give you a strong resilience.  Empathy and resilience are the keys to developing healthy relationships.  Healthy relationships are the foundation for success at work, school, and home.

 

 We don’t usually talk about our strengths in everyday conversation.  It might sound like bragging.  But when we have a passion for our work or business, it’s important to know how to clearly say what we want and what we have to offer.   Understanding your strengths (strengths diagram) gives you better self-awareness which leads to self-esteem.  When you begin thinking about your career, life purpose, and relationships, knowing your strengths and how you relate to other people will help.  Your strengths are what you bring to the relationship, and your relationship style is the energy you bring to your personal relationships, teams, and community. work